Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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