For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
