You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
