Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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