She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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