:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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