He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
