I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
