Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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