Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
