whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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