u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
