addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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