There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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