Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
