Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
