brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
