yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
