I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
