This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
