All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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