1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
