..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You were trust falling into bushes
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
