Already got asked if we're dating
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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