I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
