he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
