Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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