i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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