just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
