so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
