The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
