i don't like sucking hair
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
