Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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