I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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