Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
