I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
