Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
