I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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