so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He did a backflip because drugs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
