Its about making memories worth repressing
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
