I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
