I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
