in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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