with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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