I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
