I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
