All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
