i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
