What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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