Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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