I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
