she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
